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Joke of the Day
"Why don't elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?"
Next Joke
"A young child says to his mother... ""Mom, when I'm a grown-up I want to be a musician."" She replies, ""Well honey, you know you can't be both."""
"Bad News. Doctor: ""I have some bad news for you. You REALLY have to stop masturbating."" ""Oh my God doc, why, WHY?"" ""I am trying to examine you!"""
"What's a theif's favorite dance move? Poppin' locks"
"What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine? You don't have to hug a washing machine half an hour after it finishes"
"[to wife on phone] yes spend all our life savings on honey W: but- PLS JUST DO IT *ends phonecall* BEAR [holding gun to my head]: u did good"
"Spaces matter in Spanish! Why? Because."
"What do you call a dog with no legs ? It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come !"
"How do you know your girlfriend is getting too fat? Because she tried on your wife's pants and they fit."
"What cologne do engineers wear? Elon's musk"