224700

Joke of the Day

"[while titanic is sinking] me: [mouth full of shrimp at the buffet] I can't believe no one is eating these lol"

"What do Bernie Sanders and the Statue of Liberty have in common? Common people sent both of them pennies to help build a foundation for liberty."

"When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!"

"I sleep with my grandad's WWII bayonet under my pillow. You never know when someone might break in and start filming Antiques Road Show."

"Q. ""Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?"" A. ""Because sheep would be too obvious"""

"How come you never see a pregnant Barbie? Because Ken comes in a different box!"

"An Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a priest, a rabbi and Adolf Hitler walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"I met this guy who said he was a Mir space station Engineer. But I thought it was quite an achievement."

"[ouija board] me: are there any spirits with us? Speak now ouija board: H E L L O F R O M T H E O T H E R S I D E me: ....please stop"

"Which U.S. state abbreviation is the best? I'm not sure, but Oklahoma's is OK."