35562

Joke of the Day

"Dollar Tree clerk asked me to fill out a survey to maybe win a $500 gift card and I was like I don't need to own a whole dollar store thanks"

"From my 11 year old cousin: What do you get if you cross a pond with snowshoes? Wet."

"Aladdin's love for carpet rides must have saved Jasmine thousands of dollars in waxing fees and razors."

"What do you do when you're sunburned? Make like a banana and peel."

"The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours."

"What do you call a terrible Nature Valley bar? Crummy"

"According to the white girl weather report, today will be ""suuuuper duper sunny"" with a high of ""ughhhh"" and a low of ""fuh-reezing!"""

"Q: What goes VROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECHVROOM SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light."

"I used to be a fan but now I'm an air conditioner."

"hmm i think i'll have a small snack *eats an apple, a packet of cookies, a small couch, the whole living room, a saudi arabian family of 4*"