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Joke of the Day

"According to the white girl weather report, today will be ""suuuuper duper sunny"" with a high of ""ughhhh"" and a low of ""fuh-reezing!"""

"Can't believe people still say ""pot"" it's not the 70s anymore we call it ""saucepan"" now"

"Citizen of a secretive dictatorship - AMA! [this user has been jailed]"

"BABY COW: [points at human] What's that? OLDER COW: That is a milk dracula"

"Why did the cow get a job at Google? Because she was out standing in her field."

"wife: Feeling better? me: Yeah wife: Kind of overreacted to a cold didn't you? [flashback to me calling the Make-A-Wish Foundation] me: No"

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot."

"What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice? Her: What? You: It breaks the ice. Hi, i'm (your name)"

"What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails? A cruiseifixion."

"If this post on WebMD is correct, I died like ten years ago."