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Joke of the Day

"My friend Opie owns a pizza restaurant. Wanna know why it's so successful? Because Opie delivers."

"I hate people who... I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious."

"Roses are red... Roses are red. Harambe was shot. I am Rick Harrison. This is my pawn shop."

"GF: I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split up ME: Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."

"""Waiter waiterthere's a hand in my soup."" ""That's not your soup sir that's your finger bowl."""

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because its pecker is on its head. That was on South Park last night and made me lose it."

"Man dies after body rejects sleeveless Metallica shirt because he didn't have a barbed wire tattoo."

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches."

"Wanna see a joke? Look at your dick"

"I once tried to overdose on Viagra. It was the hardest time of my life.."