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Joke of the Day

"When runner-ups in reality shows say, ""I may not have won but I'm still a winner,"" do they understand how language and/or competition works?"

"My grandmother laughed when I said I was gonna build a car out of spaghetti. She wasn't laughing when I drove pasta."

"I honestly have allergies and dry skin this time of year, but it never looks good for a dude to have tissues & lotion on his desk."

"I don't need a stable relationship, I just need a stable internet connection."

"Apparently, it's frowned upon to walk up to two police officers and ask ""what are you douchebags up to?"""

"8 out of every 5 people are mathematically illiterate"

"I'm sure there's a supplement I could take or another easy solution to cure my laziness. Someone look into it for me."

"What do you get when you mix a prostitute and a midget? A little fuck"

"Last night, I was laying in my bed, looking up the stars as I thought to my self.. Where the fuck is my roof??"

"The Pope walks into a synagogue the Rabbi asks, ""Why the wrong faith?"""