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Joke of the Day
"8 out of every 5 people are mathematically illiterate"
Next Joke
"Wife told me to stop obsessing over monkeys I thought she was joking, then I saw her face"
"This absolutely killed me when somebody told me this in a lecture last week... What do you do if you come across a Tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise."
"I have a flight to catch but there is a cat on my lap"
"What do you get when you mix blood and piss? Bliss!"
"""I started talking to this girl and it was going really well until.... our mom called us in for dinner."" -Josh Duggar"
"When are people going to realize that ""the bigger the shoe size, the bigger the penis"" ... ... is a total phallicy?"
"I will let you borrow any movie from my Pixar collection, except one. I'm never gonna give you Up."
"KIDS: [from the kitchen] dad...may we have ice cream? ME: no you may not [long pause] K: dad...may we be forgiven if we already had ice cream?"
"My sister teaches 1st grade. A boy in her class had a tantrum and screamed ""I hate you!"" and she gently replied ""I know. It doesn't matter."""