194415

Joke of the Day

"I honestly have allergies and dry skin this time of year, but it never looks good for a dude to have tissues & lotion on his desk."

"Girl called me the other day and said: 'Come on over, nobody's home' I went over, nobody was home."

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? It sounds like shit"

"""i'll be back"" --arnold schwarzenegger getting into a 2-man horse costume"

"Mrs. Potato Head: OH MY GOD! Mr. Potato Head: What? Mrs. PH: Your browser history. Mr. PH: I can explain! Mrs. PH: TATER TOTS YOU PERVERT?!?"

"""Well, there goes the end of my arm,"" said Tom offhandedly."

"Funny Jokes, I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 jumpers, they can go through 88 stories in 8 seconds."

"What am i doing after taking lots of codeine? I literally ain't doin' shit..."

"Whats the difference between a bug and your mothers vagina? Bear Grylls would eat that bug."