35358

Joke of the Day

"I recently got a device that can remotely slow down any car And as an added bonus it shows me what speed they're going at too!"

"If you're stuck in the Friend-zone, here's a simple 5-step solution: 1) Stop. 2) Being. 3) Her. 4) Fcuking. 5) B!tch."

"War does not determine who is right only who is left."

"the cats out of the bag now... now the cats in the bag but you can still see its tail.. now the cats rolling around in some sand and dirt"

"What can you find in the middle of no where?"

"Someone should invent padded underwear for men to get back at women for wearing pushup bras"

"Just heard Kim Kardashian's new song. All I'm going to say is that, for as many black dudes as she bangs, I expected more."

"BABY BOSS: we need to talk about your work ethic ME: *covers face with hands* BABY BOSS: oh guess he's out for lunch. I'll talk to him later"

"How many communists died during ww2? not enough"

"What do you call a pokemon that's part train? A Pikachoochoo."