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Joke of the Day

"BABY BOSS: we need to talk about your work ethic ME: *covers face with hands* BABY BOSS: oh guess he's out for lunch. I'll talk to him later"

"This is joyous. Go to any YouTube video. Pause it. Click anywhere outside the video and then type 1980. Now defend yourself."

"An octopus should have eightacles, not ten."

"Why do irish fried beans only have 239 beans? Because the extra bean would be too farty."

"So Jesus can turn a Glass of Water into Wine Last night my drunk friend could turn a Glass of Water into Puke."

"What's Captain Picard's favorite game system? N-Gage"

"I like my men like I like my coffee shops. Clean. Smells nice. Free wi-fi."

"What do Ethiopian's and a pair of jeans have in common? They both have flies on them."

"""I'm supes scared & all alone & in my underwear. What's that noise in the basement? I should totes go check it out."" - Virgins tonight"

"As a purple faced man I long to meet a purple faced woman someday... Don't hold your breath"