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Joke of the Day

"BABY BOSS: we need to talk about your work ethic ME: *covers face with hands* BABY BOSS: oh guess he's out for lunch. I'll talk to him later"

"My debit card got stolen at the gym which is fine because i will still continue to go so that I can train to fight the person who stole it"

"What did the blind deaf mute boy in a wheelchair get for Christmas? Cancer!"

"A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar The bar tender looks at him for a few seconds and finally says "" alright, you can stay..just don't start anything"""

"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"

"Three blondes were on an escalator at the shopping mall when the power suddenly went out. The were stranded for two hours."

"If a server comes to my table and asks 'hows everythin tasting?' mid chew I like to grab their wrist and keep them there until I can answer"

"Unexpected sex that's a great way to wake up. If you are not in a prison..."

"How does grandma's chairlift work? It has to do with nanatechnology."

"If you're in Los Angeles and lost your wallet near the Starbucks on Melrose I found your wallet but not the $58 inside it."