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Joke of the Day

"Doctor, doctor I broke my arm in two places. Doctor: Stop going to those places."

"[at zoo] Kids, here we have reptiles. Reptiles are cold-blooded. This means they rely on external heat and often answer texts with just a K."

"when it's april 2nd and she still pregnant"

"What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like? Depends."

"My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish."

"If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer."

"I hear birds chirping. Either I'm up way too late or I've banged my head cartoon style."

"Apparently, when the Queen was at school, her strongest subject was the Gym teacher."

"This day in history. 1961. In Spain the fascist government of Generalissimo Francisco Franco declared equal rights for women and men. None."

"What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number? Nought two sixty."