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Joke of the Day

"What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number? Nought two sixty."

"Got laid twice in two days so either I've done something really good or my wife has done something really bad."

"My wife just said that Twilight is better than The Lost Boys. I don't think there's a jury in the world that would convict me."

"Never ever stop pushing yourself. They say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Go beyond it and create history."

"Covering your ears and screaming ""OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN"" is not appreciated by your coworkers. Apparently."

"Bye bye Wheaties Bruce Jenner just signed a promotional contact with Quaker State. They're going to start putting his face on every quart of Tranny Fluid."

"How do you know a black man has been on your computer. It's not there."

"What's the best benefit of working for ISIS? early retirement"

"My mom laughed at me when I said I was going to build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta."

"I got fired from my job at the sperm bank. I guess you can't keep saying ""Get a load of this guy"" every time someone walks in."