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Joke of the Day

"How many Will Ferrell's does it take to change a light bulb? One, AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"I thought getting a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant. Apparently it just changes the color of the baby."

"Month End Status Month begins with lots of happiness and ends with just a few coins & credit card bills"

"I remember how my uncle died.. Driving an 18 wheeler rig down a long, icy road in the pitch black with no working headlights. He swerved and suddenly BAM! Cancer."

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They're stuck up bitches."

"I feel like trying new things in bed. Like getting up for instance."

"Most people browse on Google or Bing... But I browse on fleek"

"When life gives you melons... don't burn the pot roast."

"I walked in on my roommate watching midget porn When I questioned him about it, he started getting short with me"

"WOULD YOU RATHER: have six arms or giant antlers? (You don't really get a choice; the surgeons were just sort of curious.)"