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Joke of the Day

"I feel like trying new things in bed. Like getting up for instance."

"Even death can't get you out of the friend zone... she'll be at your funeral like ""he was like a brother to me"""

"I saw a sign that said check your speed. Lucky I did, it had almost fallen out of my pocket."

"What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blowjobs? One's a Goodyear; the other's a great year."

"For breakfast this morning... I had ebola cereal!"

"Its not my fault I have a double-chin... When God was giving out chins.. I thought he said Gin so I said I'll have a double."

"What is 6.9? Great sex interrupted by a period."

"John Cena wakes up in the hospital He has no idea what is going on. A nurse walks into his room and he asks, ""Where am I?"" She responded, ""ICU."" He said,""No you don't."""

"Why some people like Donald Trump... Because he doesn't beat around the ""Bush"""

"An atheist's response to witnessing the second coming of Christ. ""Well, I'll be damned."""