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Joke of the Day

"What's long, hard, black, wet, and full of seamen? A submarine, you dirty fuck."

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"My ratt bit me yesterday. I guess you could say we had a lack of communication."
"What do you call a blind German? A nat-zee"
"My Bathroom I've decided to call my bathroom the Jim instead of the John. It sounds better when I tell folks I go to the Jim every morning."
"The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off"
"What i if told you You the read first line wrong And the second"
"It's all fun and games until your iPhone is at 10% power"
"Apparently the safe word has changed to... NOT THERE IDIOT!!! Followed by a swift elbow to the eye...."
"Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door."
"Blind people Gotta hand it to them."