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Joke of the Day
"Everyone is a genius until they try to use their friend's microwave."
Next Joke
"Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims."
"You can tell a lot about someone from the books they read, the things they say and how they conduct themselves in their personal life."
"You haven't seen true happiness until you've looked into the face of a white person when The Cha Cha Slide comes on at a wedding."
"Dear congress, please text and drive.#governmentshutdown"
"How many Southern Baptists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Change?!"
"[movie theater] Her: *Hands me popcorn bag* Can you put this down? Me: *grabs bag* You stupid, overpriced, salty piece of shit!"
"My 9 year old son just told me this one Q: What do you call 5 doctors and nurses on a ship? A: A decade Ba dum tish."
"""Why do Jews hate sex?"" ""Because the pussy is too close to the gas chamber."" Cody Edwards"
"An ear doctor gets a phone call from a patient and asks him to describe the symptoms. He says, ""they're yellow, Homer's fat and Marge has blue hair"". [Source](http://m.imgur.com/gallery/3axkvOQ)"