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Joke of the Day

"Went to glasses shop to check my eyes,the worker told me I had estigmatism,I googled it.... Because I was blind on the subject."

"me: ""4,000 for a beehive?"" salesman: ""sir, there are 8,000 bees in there, that's only 50p each"" me: [checking my wallet] ""give me 3 bees"""

"The restaurant said they couldn't seat me right away due to lack of waiters I said, ""That's alright, I'll wait""."

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant."

"Thanks, spell check, that's what I meant: Edgar Allen Pie."

"What Is A Mexican's Favorite Bookstore? Borders."

"Why are fish always on drugs? They just keep getting hooked."

"I thought I saw an octopus but it was just 8 eels kissing a butternut squash."

"I like my women like I like my Pistachio nuts. Easy to get inside or else I'll just move onto the next. Ha ha only joking. I'm so lonely."

"So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem... ...comes out of nowhere."