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Joke of the Day
"Why is Santa's sack so big? He only comes once a year."
Next Joke
"In was in a bar the other day. The barman said ""I see your glass is empty. Do you want another one?"" Why the fuck would I want 2 empty glasses?"
"Alien 1: What are the Humans doing? Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I."
"Treat your woman like you treat your smartphone: touch her often, stare at her, and make her the most important thing in your life."
"What did Michael Jackson say at the bank? ""Make that change"""
"God damn it! I said ""glass of juice"" not ""gas the jews"". -Hitler"
"I started a project to hire people with depression on my dairy farm... if there's one thing they're good at its milking it."
"If ifs & buts were candy & nuts, the first part of this sentence would read ""Candy candies & nuts were candy & nuts."" ...Confusing, right?"
"The older I get, the more sympathize with Squidward's anger."
"Life is like a dick pic... Sometimes you get things you don't ask for."