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Joke of the Day

"Q. Why did the jellybean go to school? A. Because he wanted to be a smarty"

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"What do a walrus and a tupperware container have in common? They both like a tight seal."
"Let go.. New perspective.. If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, . . . . nobody wanted them."
"What did fettuccine say to rigatoni? Que pasta?"
"Say what you will about ISIS... But you can't deny their suicide business is booming."
"Whoever named it a ""mobile"" phone obviously didn't anticipate me spending the day on the couch covered in crumbs reading Twitter."
"Pretty sure the ""FINISH HIM"" guy from Mortal Kombat is giving relationship advice to every girl I date."
"Why is Oliver North like Kraang? They both love using the shredder."
"""Let me be clear"" the sliding glass door said as I face planted it."
"Our new IT guy moved here from Australia... He comes from a LAN down under."