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Joke of the Day
"What do a walrus and a tupperware container have in common? They both like a tight seal."
Next Joke
"Me: Oh my god, that cat is adorable! She's the cutest kitty I've ever seen! Cat: I just want to be friends."
"The problem was that everyone was poking my ex on Facebook. And in my bed And on my couch And in my car And when I was at work"
"I saw a girl texting while driving the other day.. it really pissed me off, so I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her."
"Which laptop has the most pleasant speakers? A Dell"
"There's three types of people in this world... ...those who are good at math, and those who aren't."
"What has 9 letters and makes everyone mad? Clickbait"
"Why'd the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool."
"I fucked this girl for an hour and 45 seconds last night. Thanks daylight savings."
"If you are following Facebook on Twitter, you have reached a new level of retarded."