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Joke of the Day
"If your clock strikes thirteen, what time is it? Time to get a new clock."
Next Joke
"*Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go! [15 min later] *Batman voice* I said let's go."
"If Russia invades Turkey from the rear.. Would Greece help?"
"My friends laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian... Well they're not laughing now"
"You know you're on drugs when you're talking to your kids about drugs and you don't have any kids."
"""Squad goals,"" I said, aloud, to nobody, as two rats helped each other move an entire bagel into a hole in the subway tracks"
"A Jew, a woman, and a racist walk into a bar. The bartender says ""I bet you thought this was going to be about the elections, didn't you?"""
"Short one... What's red with seven dents in it? Snow White's Cherry"
"The judge gave me 7 days to live... So I shot myself. The doctor gave me 4 months. Problem solved. B)"
"I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it and he's always on time."