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Joke of the Day
"*Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go! [15 min later] *Batman voice* I said let's go."
Next Joke
"So I Saw A Fireman Smoking Outside The Station and I thought, 'I wonder how many cigarettes are started by fires?'"
"[inventing trees] Angel: what purpose do they serve? God: cats climb em Angel: can they climb back down? God [inventing the fire dept]: nope"
"A black person is walking down the street carrying a 4K TV I thought, 'that looks like mine!'. But then I remembered, my black person is at home doing laundry"
"So two cannibals are eating dinner... The first turns to the second man and says ""Wow, your wife sure does make a great roast!"" The second replied ""I know, I'm really gonna miss her."""
"What do you call a reptiloid that crashed landed its spaceship? Imsosaurus!"
"Never discuss with your wife... ...because all you do is 'diss' and 'cuss'"
"Did you hear about the strawberry jam and grape jelly hooking up? They got marmalaid."
"Today's laugh Every day I tell myself: ""Jack, you have to stop drinking"". Good thing my name ain't Jack!"
"I'm texting nothing but ugly girls from now on. They text back so fast!"