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Joke of the Day

"A Jew, a woman, and a racist walk into a bar. The bartender says ""I bet you thought this was going to be about the elections, didn't you?"""

"I hate when a girl says the wrong name during sex They know my name isnt Someone Help"

"How is spam different to a penis? One is junk mail, the other is male junk"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter escaped the Chamber."

"I don't hate you because you're beautiful... You're not..."

"Mute goes to a wedding... After the ceremony he won't let go of his dick and everyone's a little put off by his public display. With his free hand, he signs ""Speak now or forever hold your peace""."

"I'm an optimistic pessimist... I see the glass as half empty, but there are free refills"

"7: what do you want for your birthday? Me: idk a new car 7: ok *walks away* [ 2 min later ] 7: what do you want that's under $6.42?"

"Tried to type hustlin', iPhone corrected to hustling'. I don't need to see the casing to know that I've got the white iPhone."

"I see the baby's nose is running again"" said a worried father. ""For goodness sake!"" snapped his wife. ""Can't you think of anything other than horse racing?"""