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Joke of the Day

"Couple: [hands me camera] Do you mind taking a picture? ""Sure""[click] Couple: How does it look? ""I just got my hair done, so pretty good"""

"The Pink Panther made a list of things he had to do, and it was called... To do, to do, to do to do to do, to do, to dooooooo..."

"""Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?!?"" ""Same thing that bag is doing in your tea."""

"If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make? The first airplane."

"Whats the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you."

"Why do pirates like TIG welding so much? Because they have a good supply of ARRgon."

"Two cannibals are eating a math teacher. Another approaches, and asks.. ""Hey, can I have sum?"""

"Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious"

"What's the difference between my job and my wife? My job will still suck after 5 years"

"flight attendant: sir, are you raising your hand me: how do i access the wifi fa: im doing safety announcements me: is that lowercase"