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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between my job and my wife? My job will still suck after 5 years"
Next Joke
"Interviewer: congrats you got the security guard job Me: *already asleep on a folding chair* Interviewer: hang on u don't start til monday"
"""Don't move or she's dead"" was the last thing the wife heard before the husband started tap dancing."
"What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ? A spinning wheel !"
"<at first day of t-ball practice> Me:What's the first rule here, boys? Kid:Don't poop your pants? M:I was gonna say ""have fun"" but...OK."
"[drive thru] GUY ON INTERCOM: can I help you ME: yeah are you guys open"
"Introverts should get a 26.2 sticker for when they have to talk on the phone multiple times in a day."
"A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past. They must have had sharp ears! They were mountain-ears!"
"Why is Santa so Jolly? Cause he knows where all the bad girls live."
"What did captain Kirk do in the head? He Shatner."