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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between my job and my wife? My job will still suck after 5 years"
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"When the internet is down I turn my bed into a make-believe boat and play Life of Pi with the cat"
"What's the difference between a Jew and Santa Claus? Santa goes down the chimney"
"A Neckbeard Approaches a Cancer Patient at a Bar... He tips his fedora and says, ""Malady."""
"What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund? A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money"
"Tim Howard has been America's best goalkeeper since Sylvester Stallone in 1945."
"Cake day: How many scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Response: I don't know, I'm no scientist."
"Cells multiply by dividing."
"It really hurts for me to say this but... I have a sore throat."
"I bought my epileptic friend a strobe light for his birthday. He's going to have a fit when he sees it."