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Joke of the Day

"Two cannibals are eating a math teacher. Another approaches, and asks.. ""Hey, can I have sum?"""

"If we were stranded in a desert and a snake bit my penis, would you suck the poison out?"

"What's the mating call of a sorority girl? O My GOd! I am so drunk."

"STDs are like pokemons... To be cool, you gotta catch 'em all."

"Girlfriend gone and no Internet. Just jerked off to Halo menu screen music."

"Women are like snowflakes... They can't drive."

"She: ""Give it to me, I'm soo wet! give it to me!"" Me: She can scream all she wants but the umbrella is mine."

"""Whats the deal with all this airline food?"" -Sharks in Malaysia"

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? Goes back four seconds."

"Me: Put on your seatbelt. 13: Do I have to? Me: not if you want your face shattering the windshield 13: cool Me: PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT!"