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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Crucifixion victims? They're screwed up."

"If I can punch you without moving my feet, you're in my personal space."

"Objects in the mirror may appear like you've been depressed and have eaten a lot the last 3 years."

"I used to think I knew what a racist was until I told Usain Bolt he was my favorite racist ever."

"What's the worst thing about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven."

"Ladies: If a man approaches you and he's wearing Crocs, hold perfectly still. Their vision is based off movement."

"What did the lobster say when he saw the mermaid? Gotta lay off the sea-weed."

"Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two."

"Instead of a sock on your door, hang a doughnut. Not only is Doughnut Disturb hilarious, you provide a snack for your now homeless roommate."

"I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it."