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Joke of the Day
"What's the worst thing about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven."
Next Joke
"At Walmart with a box of condoms and a Barbie play set, now I need to pick the right cashier to ensure maximum awkwardness for us both."
"Santa: its snowing Christmas is canceled Put everything in the garbage Elves: no! Rudolph: what if I told you I had a very small red light"
"Fighting dumb people with irony is like throwing stones at tanks. You can do that, but you achieve nothing from it."
"Do you know the difference between a mailbox and an elephant's asshole? No? Remind me not to give you a letter to mail."
"Why didn't Ronda go to Prom? she got Holm schooled       [/r/funny told me to go here >.>]"
"OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO UNPLUG THE TOASTER [flash to dog in sunglasses waiting for his fifth batch of waffles to pop up]"
"What do you call a work out routine done by a sexy robot? An erector set. I'll see myself out."
"[robbing Whole Foods] ""All the cash in a bag NOW!"" 100% organic reusable bag ok? ""Yes!"" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag"
"Condoms... Are for pussies."