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Joke of the Day

"Objects in the mirror may appear like you've been depressed and have eaten a lot the last 3 years."

"The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years!"

"Why should you never stand behind Elsa from Frozen? You never know when she'll Let it Go."

"I'm pretty sure they weren't talking about stupid when they told you, ""If you got it flaunt it."""

"A blonde walks into a laundromat... And says to a worker, ""can you wash this shirt?"" The worker did not hear her and said ""come again?"" The blonde than replies ""no it is mustard this time"""

"What do you call blueberries, raspberries and strawberries inside of a hidden chest? Berried Treasure."

"A man went to see his doctor ""You need to stop masturbating"" said the doctor. ""Why?"" asked the man. The doctor replied ""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"I'm so drunk right now I just walked into Canadian customs and shouted ""Why y'all checkin' me?! Ur the ones with a pot leaf on your flag!!"""

"If women could change one thing about the penis it would be the man."

"I won the local hot dog eating contest and didn't even know I was competing."