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Joke of the Day

"When I'm having a bad day, I like to think of Prince William, Prince and will.i.am introducing themselves to each other."

"What is worse than the earthquake in Italy? The Holocaust."

"Women belong in the house... ...and the senate too"

"When an Eel bites your heel, and pain is all you feel... Thats a ""Moray"""

"A fax machine is just a surprise printer."

"*shitting pants, crying, missing my shoe* yoga instructor: you need to leave me: oh is this not child's pose?"

"People don't usually compliment me on my driving... But today I saw a note on my car that said ""PARKING FINE"". That was nice of them. ... I'll escort myself out."

"Just saw a horse drawn cart. Wasn't a very good cart. Horses are terrible artists."

"What is the date in Germany/Brasil in about a month from now? Germany/Brasil 7-1"

"Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium? He tripped a fan"