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Joke of the Day

"What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class? Go ahead, bake my clay. *walks away slowly*"

"My home was invaded by gay burglars the other night... ...They came in and rearranged the furniture."

"Of course bears shit in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house."

"If your clock strikes 13, what time is it? time to fix your clock."

"My girlfriend just introduced me to the parents. As if I've never met my own mum and dad before."

"next time you feel depressed with yourself, remember that you're about 70% water & thats cool af"

"Too err is human... To blame the next guy is even more so."

"What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through? Oh God, not the B's!"

"Why Christmas is like a job day? You do all the work but the big fat man in suit get the credits"

"What do Donald Trump and Pokemon have in common? The only thing they can say are their name and random bullsh**."