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Joke of the Day

"What did Clint Eastwood say before firing up the ceramic bowl he made in pottery class? Go ahead, bake my clay. *walks away slowly*"

"Do you know the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss, but you get herpes from kissing a snatch."

"What's the difference between a woman and a toilet? A toilet can become president."

"Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar The bartender tells him, ""We don't serve superconductors here."" He leaves without resistance."

"What's the difference between fat and cholesterol you don't wake up with a cholesterol"

"Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there."

"In my life Ive spent 90% of my money on drugs, drinking and women. The other 10% I wasted."

"When ever My wife is cooking, I like to walk up behind her, slowly stroke her hair and whisper into her ear... ""Let's order a pizza."""

"I love my ribcage. It is very close to my heart."

"I just yelled 'Jayden' at the mall and now I'm a mom to like 20 kids."