82385
Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend just introduced me to the parents. As if I've never met my own mum and dad before."
Next Joke
"What did the pilot say to the Vietnamese mechanic underneath the plane? "" ""You are the Nguyen beneath my wings"""
"I borrowed $500 from a co-worker then paid a homeless guy $8 to kill him in a McDonald's bathroom. I'm up $405 or whatever."
"Being from the South, my mother was all about hospitality! Cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry and even foot rubs! She made me do it all."
"I get the same thing for my birthday every year - a pair of socks and a piece of tail... And they're both two sizes too big."
"[leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to."
"Who said ""Shiver me timbers!"" on the ghost ship? The skeleton crew."
"What's fat, sweaty, and bad at cooking? My ex wife!"
"I love how fresh & clean my bathroom smells after I've killed a spider with a full bottle of windex"
"Girl, are you an ITT Tech degree? Because you're worthless."