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Joke of the Day

"How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to hold the penis [cough], father [ah], ladder"

"I'm doing a UK Halloween party and your all invited.. Location : farnborough air show"

"What is the Sun's favorite candy? Starburst! Another one from my 9 year old. I don't know where he gets it."

"Michael Jackson, Ted Kennedy, and Osama bin Laden walk into a bar... you fill in the punch line."

"iPhone 6: For people who don't mind holding an iPad up to their ear."

"I'm currently stuck behind traffic lights. Fuck you Roxanne."

"[Me]: What's a snowman's favorite drink? [Bartender]: idk [Me]: Brrrr-bon lol [Bartender]: ... [Me]: jk snowmen don't drink they aren't real"

"Why are 9/11 victims great readers? They can go through 90 stories in 10 seconds"

"I finally found out why OP never delivers!"

"A friend told me I'm out of touch. I laughed so hard I almost peed my Hammer pants."