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Joke of the Day

"Bill Gates How does Bill Gates fix a broken lightbulb? He buys a new house."

"Need help with a joke! What's a funny reason that Germany or Germans can't be trusted that doesn't have to do with nazis?"

"I lied and told someone, ""I can't go to your party I have diarrhea."" I actually do have diarrhea but historically that hasn't stopped me"

"I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said ""Be an organ donor!""... They were doing 20 in a 30. I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause."

"Which strip club does Obama go to? The Illuminaughty"

"Never tell someone that it would work out if ""only they lived closer"". Crazy can change zip codes faster than you can change your identity."

"Netflix just asked me ""Are you really going to eat that too?"""

"THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes."

"Harry says to Hermione: ""Hey Hermione, guess how I got my dick to be 12 inches?"" Hermione sarcastically responds: ""I don't know Harry... Magic?"" Harry: ""I folded it in half."""

"Hello, I'm a bird, I survived since dinosaurs roamed the earth but windows are too much for me to figure out."