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Joke of the Day

"I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said ""Be an organ donor!""... They were doing 20 in a 30. I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause."

"Please pray for girls everywhere who are getting a ""What's up"" text right now Be strong. Don't answer. Eat ice cream."

"Why can't you run in a camp ground? You can only 'ran'; it's past tents."

"In Finland when a baby is born you just whip a bunch of magnetic letters at the fridge and that's its name."

"I would totally get into a stranger's windowless van if they took me away from my family for an hour."

"I need some sun. My legs are so white they just drove to Whole Foods in their Prius."

"So the other day my friend asked me if living in Switzerland had any benefits... I responded: ""Well, the flag's a big plus.""^I'll^see^myself^out."

"What do you call a Gay Dictator? A bendy ruler."

"I was going to make a Nazi joke but. It is out of mein kampfort zone."

"I won a swimsuit contest the other day I ate 57 swimsuits"