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Joke of the Day

"THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes."

"Girl I work with says to me, ""Why dont you like Taylor Swift? Shes awesome!"". Because I knew she was trouble when she walked in."

"I like my women like I like my cheese. Cold and blue."

"Is it solipsistic in here? or is it just me?"

"Why did Microsoft skip windows 9? Because 7 ate 9"

"costumed new york mayor Rumor has it that for Halloween New York Mayor DeBlasio will be walking around on his knees and going as Mayor Bloomberg"

"The man who invented Velcro has died. RIP"

"I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life creating wacky sci-fi inventions... The time machine alone set me back 15 years."

"Ever feel a little ""too"" relaxed? Is your day going ""pretty ok""? Are you enjoying doing a thing? Introducing ""Panic Attacks"" Panic AttacksTM"

"My cousin's horoscope was Cancer. Funny how she died... She got eaten by a giant crab"