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Joke of the Day
"My dad had the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the zoo."
Next Joke
"You know it's cold outside when you go outside and trip over dog poop instead of stepping in it."
"Donald Trump was really bragging about how big his penis was last night. Obama doesn't believe him. He's now calling for the release of his Girth Certificate."
"19 and 20 had a fight. 21."
"""Hey, my face is UP HERE and also OVER HERE"" - woman in Picasso painting"
"i can't wait til my boyfriend breaks up with me im gonna eat so much ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D"
"[consoling widow] I was the one who put the kick me sign on your husband. I had no idea you owned a horse that can read"
"~Little Mermaid family meeting~ Ariel.... We found this hidden in your top drawer. *places sea cucumber on table*"
"*sees old person* why don't u just die already *sees young person* u think u know shit... but u don't *sees middle-aged person* fuck u, pal"
"Mom 1: My son's gonna be a pro baseball player Mom 2: Mines gonna be a doctor Me: My son shows strong signs of being able to escape prison"