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Joke of the Day

"You know it's cold outside when you go outside and trip over dog poop instead of stepping in it."

"A man flashed three old women in the park. The first two women each had a stroke! The third woman tried, but she couldn't reach because her arms were too short."

"I'm an over medium comedian I don't always make yolks, but when I do, they are runny"

"Being married is like peeing in your pants... At first it's nice and hot, but then it just gets sloppy and uncomfortable."

"I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90's TV"

"So I found out I have IBS last week... The doctor said I have shitty genes"

"TIFU: My wife told me she wants to get a tattoo on her lower back. I told her to get one of a beautiful young woman so I'd have something to fantasize about."

"What's the difference between a blind hunter and a constipated owl? One shoots but can't hit while the other hoots but can't shit"

"People dont like having to bend over to get their drinks... We really need to raise the bar."

"*mob meeting* ayo new guywho're you? ""they call me the butcher"" oh yea? why's that, butch? *smacks him with a pork loin* ""no reason"""