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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump was really bragging about how big his penis was last night. Obama doesn't believe him. He's now calling for the release of his Girth Certificate."

"Feminism! Q: How many feminists does it take to change a baby's diaper? A: Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything. And besides, where would they find a baby!"

"When I went away for a lengthy business trip my wife and kids threw a big party... According to the email."

"Where does the Easter Bunny lay his eggs?! In the grass.. So WHAT DO WE SMOKE TO CELEBRATE?! [all the children] Grass?? Yessssss."

"When you criticize a person, walk a mile in his shoes... then you'll be a mile away and in his shoes."

"Why are pirates never scared of a storm? Because they love torrents."

"Teacher: ""What is the most common phrase used in school?"" Pupil: ""I don't know..."" Teacher: ""Correct!"""

"Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago."

"they say penguins mate for life, but that's bullshit cause my penguin left me first chance she had"

"Q. What do you call a Mexican vegan? A. No Whey Jose"