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Joke of the Day

"If you don't open your mouth when you yawn, you're a monster. I'm serious. Let that demon go. You're freaking everybody out."

"I don't go to the circus. Not because I'm scared of clowns, but because I'm scared of people who go to the circus."

"Barack Obama 1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work."

"What did the bean say to the other bean? How have you been?"

"If pro is the opposite of con.. Then what is the opposite of progress? Congress.... Thank you George Carlin :)"

"Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself? It's two tired."

"If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you'll be dead soon."

"What's the difference between a Philosophy major and a cashier at KFC? A job application."

"My grandfather was a baker in the army... ...he went in all buns glazing."

"i have a heavy flow maxi pad in my wallet so it looks like i have lots of money"