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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when President Obama and Joe Biden talk shop over a nice dinner? A government man-date. Boom. I'll be here all night."

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, But I soon realized that toucan play that game."

"Study says that 1 in 3 people suffers from short term memory"

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? AIDS."

"My DNA is all over this room. So nobody go doing anything all life-sentency in here, ok?"

"So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?"

"Rupert Grint bursts into the room, ""Mum, I just got a part in the Harry Potter movie!"" ""Serious?"" ""No, Ron."""

"The 11th commandment was, ""Talk shit, get hit"" but God totally didn't have enough room on those stone things, so, like, yeah."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a registered six offender."

"Two monkeys were sitting in a tub. The first one says ""Oooo Oooo Aaaa Aaaa Eeee Eeee!"" The second one says ""Perhaps we should add some cold water."""