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Joke of the Day

"Rupert Grint bursts into the room, ""Mum, I just got a part in the Harry Potter movie!"" ""Serious?"" ""No, Ron."""

"What do you call a comedian that can't get a girl pregnant? Carl Barron"

"Why did the pedophile go into the cave? He was looking for miners."

"Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my dog was RIGHT THERE."

"So a Pokemon go user found a Mewtwo at a bar... 20,000 Pokemon go users walk into a bar."

"This tweet has been downloaded to your system and is now scanning your hard drive for copyrighted material. Stand by. SCANNING - 23%"

"How do you kill a giraffe? Punch him in the throat."

"exactly 14 yrs ago today, I pointed at a beautiful woman & said ""that's the girl I'm gonna marry one day"" but it turned out to be a lamppost"

"I like my mens like I like my coffee Nowhere near my dick."

"What did Hitler say to the Chinese food delivery guy that stole his Chinese food? MEIN LOMEIN!"