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Joke of the Day

"What is the definition of torque? When you wake up in the morning with an erection so stiff, that when you bend it down to take a leak, your legs kick back and you hit your head on the toilet."

"Mickey Mouse ""Doc, my knees hurt!"" Doctor: Which knee? Mickey: Disney"

"Father: How do you like going to school? Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!"

"What kind of joke do you tell to a vegetarian? One they've never herbivore."

"Avoid arguments about the toilet seat...use the sink..."

"I am not racist, I love black people. In fact, I love them so much that I think we should all have our own."

"A new source of electricity is found! Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now. We can use that somehow."

"The worst time to find out your parents are dead is probably right after you've taken a large hit from helium balloon."

"What's black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee, you racist bastard."

"My goal weight is not having to take selfies from such a high angle."