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Joke of the Day

"Avoid arguments about the toilet seat...use the sink..."

"I used to work at a trampoline factory It had its ups and downs"

"What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? They both get to smell it but neither of them can eat it."

"The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful."

"[Dinner date] I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl, so I guess I'm kinda a momgirl ""You mean tomgirl?"" Don't talk with your mouth full."

"Do you know how do you spell Mississippi with one I? *Covers left eye* M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I"

"Women are like snow flakes. They can't drive."

"Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached? Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs? Or crapperjoels?"

"I recently told my girlfriend about removing the cookies and site data because it slows down the browser speed... Now she understands why I delete the browsing history everyday."

"[pours a bag of sugar over a tire fire] hmmm [tastes remnants] i think i'll call it... Twizzlers"