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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the restaurant patron get into his car? He had Gnocchi."
Next Joke
"Astronomers have used liquid water as an indicator for planet habitability... ...they might also need to add whether the planet has a Trump elected as president"
"Bro: *on phone* Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE! Dude: You're so whipped. Bro: What? I just got her to rent Babe instead of The Notebook."
"Which is the month in which women talk the least? February... because it has the least number of days"
"Reasons I Don't Smoke Pot"
"If a woman asks if you ""notice anything new"" tell her ""I do, your beauty surprises me every day."" Then continue thinking about velociraptors"
"I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven I guess I should have put it on aloha setting"
"A man stumbles upon a Genie and is granted 3 wishes. Genie: What is your first wish? Joe: I want to be rich. Genie: Granted. What is your second wish? Rich: I want lots of money."
"You should be my grillfriend. Not a typo, girl. You're hot enough to cook meat on."
"I had sex on a camping trip for the first time recently... It was fucking in tents."