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Joke of the Day

"A man stumbles upon a Genie and is granted 3 wishes. Genie: What is your first wish? Joe: I want to be rich. Genie: Granted. What is your second wish? Rich: I want lots of money."

"Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver"

"*Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *packs for wall 3 feet away *has an amazing time at wall"

"There should be way more poetry about cheeseburgers."

"This morning i used redbull instead of water to make my coffee. After 15 minutes of driving on the highway, i realized i left my car at home!!!"

"I have proof that the FBI has no sense of humor [REDACTED]"

"""You're a joulepersecond!"" ""Wat?"" ""Exactly."""

"What did one orphan say to the other? Robin get in the Bat mobile."

"*passenger next to me starts putting on headphones* Are you mad at me?"

"*runs into san francisco restaurant* THE KALE WASN'T LOCALLY SOURCED *sound of 100s of ubers smashing into each other outside restaurant*"