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Joke of the Day

"Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic."

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"No one in traffic ever catches me eatin boogers cause u all textin and drivin"
"That whole ""letting go"" of your ex is always more satisfying when they're dangling over an abyss."
"What's the fastest way to make a skeleton? Put a leper in a wind tunnel"
"A man with ejaculatory disorder ran up behind me... Jesus he really came out of nowhere."
"It takes a car 30 years to become vintage. It takes a phone 30 days."
"Hey Guys! Wouldn't it be crazy if Friday the 13th was on Halloween! I tricked too many people with that..."
"If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person."
"""Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"" is just not as challenging since she started using foursquare."
"What holds the moon up? Moonbeams."