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Joke of the Day

"A man with ejaculatory disorder ran up behind me... Jesus he really came out of nowhere."

"Why is the hipster sweating? Because he wore a scarf before it was cool."

"I don't really know how to tell jokes"

"I'll never cheat on another test... It keyed my car and told the cops I beat it up"

"This girl told me she was saving herself for Jesus I said Jesus probably isn't going to fuck you."

"What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger? They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done."

"Captain Morgan and Cap'n Crunch awkwardly chat at their naval college class reunion."

"How to become cool A) Put on sunglasses B)"

"MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE"

"sleepy from being on your phone too much? there's a nap for that"