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Joke of the Day
"If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a weatherman and an overweight doctor that handles the urinary tract? One's a meteorologist and the other's a meaty urologist."
"Our greatest fear is to die alone, which is why I intend to take quite a few people with me."
"Ill draw a drawer But I won't doodle a doodle."
"Never go to a place that has burgers, sushi, chicken wings and donuts on one menu. Never."
"If you're not saying ""you're an idiot"" a few times during any interaction with me, you're not truly appreciating the depth of who I am."
"How many ants are needed to fill an apartment ? Ten ants !"
"Me: You've dimmed the lights already, aren't we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen."
"You say ""kiss ass,"" I say ""rim job enthusiast."""
"There are three things I hate... * reposts * bullet lists * irony"