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Joke of the Day

"When I leave a plane, I tighten the belts before I leave so that whoever sits there next will think ""wow, whoever sat here was very thin""."

"Just saw a man talking on a pay phone... I should call the cops right?"

"Knock knock...(from my 6 year old) Who's there? ""Little girl"". Little girl, who? ""Little girl who can't reach the door knob""."

"I saw a sign that said bad' the other day. I thought, that's not a good sign."

"It is very wrong to ask a woman how much she weighs. (xpost from r/showerthoughts) Weight depends on the gravitational force of the planet you are on. You should ask her how massive she is."

"Yes, Neil, everything sounds better when you have a great voice. That's how sound works."

"What's the difference between an spam and a personal attack? They aren'tt tolerated on thsi subredit"

"What is Forest Gump's Email password? 1Forest1"

"I don't even know how my dog can even think how I might fall for the notion someone else tore apart my shoe"

"Whenever someone says, ""Good question"" I never hear their answer because I'm too busy congratulating myself for asking such a good question."